Two months and counting

Today marks the two month mark. Two months that Chris has been gone. Two months since I've hugged my husband. Two months since I've kissed my husband. Two months since I've felt my husband's hand touch mine. Two long months.  These last two months have felt like years.  The days have felt like are crawling by.  They are not moving quickly at all.  But on the other hand, we're two months closer to being back together.  To being whole again.  

Chris has said on multiple occasions that deployments are like groundhog day for him, same crap different day.  And I have to agree with him.  Although, I must agree, it's way worse for him.  Literally, its the exact same thing for him, day in and day out.  For me, I get into a weekly routine (monday I do this, Tuesday I do this and so forth) and I pretty much do the same things week in and week out and just count down the weeks.  I'm not one to wish away time; I know that the time we have on this Earth is precious and can be taken away from us at a moments notice but when Chris is deployed, I can't help but wish I had a magic wand to pass time away so he could be back home with me.  So, while I try to enjoy everyday as best as I can, there's always that lingering thought in the back of my head "I wish Chris was here with me."  I try not to sulk and be miserable because who wants to be around a Mrs. Grumpy Pants for 6 months? No one. That's who.  And let's face it; I don't have a magic wand to wave away time, and these 6 months are precious 6 months that I'm lucky enough to blessed with down here on Earth so I'm doing my best to enjoy them.  I'm incredibly grateful for the times I get to talk to my husband, even more grateful for the times I get to skype with my husband (thank goodness for technology!), and just crossing my fingers that time starts to speed up just a little bit.

It's funny how when you're younger you think you're never going to be one of those people who needs another person to make you feel you feel whole, complete.  That another person will ever be your missing piece.  But that overnight it happens.  You meet "that person" who is your missing person.  You suddenly realize all that has been missing from your life is now there.  Your life feels whole, feels complete and it's all because of that one person.  You've became that person who needs another person to feel complete.  I've become that person.  I need Chris to feel to complete.  And I don't think there is anything wrong with that.  I love feeling like we are two halves that come together to make a whole in a world of halves. Together we can face anything that life is going to throw at us.  Together we are a force to reckon with. Together we can, and we have, beat all the odds.  Before I met Chris I was wondering around just trying to find a purpose in my life.  Wondering who I was, what I was supposed to be doing,  wondering where my life was leading me.  But now I've found it.  My life was leading me to him.  The rest of life's journey I will continue on a path not alone, but hand in hand with Chris as my partner.