Anxious

Anxious.

That doesn't even begin to describe how I'm feeling right now.

Excited.

That's a little more like it.

Jumping off the walls with excitement.

Can't stop myself from smiling when I think that in just DAYS my husband will be home with me.

I feel like the days are moving so slow that they are going backwards. 

Trying to keep busy just doesn't work. 

I can't keep my mind from constantly thinking about finally being back together.

Finally being able be a newlywed couple. 

Eeeek I'm just so excited.

I can't stop smiling.

I can't stop myself from being in a wonderful mood. 

And I deserve to be. 

I just can't wait to see him step off that bus so I can wrap my arms around him.

I'm just so excited.

And anxious for it to get here already.

I wish time would just speed up just a little bit.

I just want to see my husband. 

I hate this part of the deployments.

When the end is so close you can almost reach out and touch it, but yet it seems so far away.

So Father Time,  please do me a favor and speed up this week a little bit so it doesn't feel like it's moving backwards.

Valentine's Day Package

I made Chris a surprise Valentine's Day Package, he thinks he's already gotten his, but he's got a little surprise coming his way :)

This one is filled with ALL Valentine's Day themed goodies. 

Everything in the box is red and pink with hearts. 

Girly?

Yes, I do believe so.

Cheesy?

Maybe, just a little bit.

But if he knows me at all, he should expect it.

It's even complete with a mini stuffed dog holding a heart that says I Love You, sprayed with my perfume so it smells like me.

I normally just package up his cookies in tupperwares, but this package I decided to decorate mason jars and put his cookies and candy in them.

He also got all his candy in treat bags covered in red hearts tied with Valentine's Day ribbon as opposed to how I normally send him candy....throwing the bags of candy in the box.

Cute?

I think so.

It'll be interesting to hear what he thinks about the box.

Or what he says everyone else thinks about the box.

I am almost 100% positive that no one else will get such a cute Valentine's Day package.

And I am almost positive that he will love his box because I put so much love and thought into it.

And because it's something I would do for him if he was home. 

"Home"

I met Chris in a bar. 

On dollars beer night.

Keeping it classy, I know.

Either way, from the moment we started talking, even admist our drunken (ok, ok I admit; I was taking advantage of those dollar beers and completely forgetting about my 8am class the next morning, Chris was being the responsible one) haze, we knew that there was a spark. 

An instant connection.

I'm talking sparks flying everywhere.

He was such a gentlemen he even texted me the next morning to tell me suck up my hangover with a gatorade and keep my butt to class.

But from the minute we started chatting up a storm,  he let me know he was leaving on a deployment in a couple weeks.

I kept telling him that wouldn't be a problem, I was an excellent pen pal and I put together really awesome care packages. 

Neither of us not really thinking how tough going through your first deployment as a couple when you'd only begun dating a few weeks before. 

So for the next few weeks, we spent every waking minute together, getting to know each other but also knowing that "this was it." 

We had found what everyone searches to find.

Now, our first major hurdle was upon us and it was a challenge to say the least.

But we made it day by day.

The night we were saying good bye this song came on the radio.

I of course started crying harder, but we both sat in silence and just listened to the words. 

We understood. 

It instantly became "our song"

I listened to this song all the time through that first deployment, when I was having a bad day, when I was lonely, when I needed to remind myself that soon enough he would be home. 

And he would be just as excited as me. 

I got goosebumps listening to it.

It seemed like it was speaking directly to us.

Tonight on my way home from work, while I was randomly flipping through the stations, I heard the beginning beats of this song. 

I immediately turned it up full blast and jammed out for 4 minutes and those goosebumps came back just as they always do whenever I randomly hear it.

I reminded myself that he would soon be home. 

I reminded myself that he is just as anxious as I am to get home, that those faces and that place is getting old. 

That he's coming home to the place where he belongs so very soon. 

Our last song at our wedding was played by my uncle.

It was this song.

It was OUR song.

It was sang so beautifully and it was the perfect way to end that night. 

Starting a new chapter with the song that our relationship started with...it seemed perfect.

To remind us that whenever we are separated, it won't be forever.

That we will eventually find our way back home.

Back together. 

To remind us that he will ALWAYS come back home where he belongs after he serves his country. 

And that I'll ALWAYS be here waiting to fly into his arms. 

This song holds a special place in my heart for us.

I Am A Military Wife

"I am a military wife - a member of that sisterhood of women who have had the courage to watch their men go into battle, and the strength to survive until their return. Our sorority knows no rank, for we earn our membership with a marriage license, travelling over miles, or over nations to begin a new life with our military husbands. Within days, we turn a barren, echoing building into a home, and though our quarters are inevitably white-walled and unpapered, we decorate with the treasures of our travels, for we shop the markets of the globe.

Using hammer and nail, we tack our pictures to the wall, and our roots to the floor as firmly as if we had lived there for a lifetime. We hold a family together by the bootstraps, and raise the best of 'brats', instilling in them the motto: "Home is togetherness", whether motel, or guest house, apartment or duplex. As military wives we soon realize that the only good in "Good-bye" is the "Hello again". For as salesmen for freedom, our husbands are often on the road, at sea, or in the sky, leaving us behind for a week, a month, an assignment.

During separations we guard the home front, existing until the homecoming. Unlike our civilian counterparts, we measure time, not by years, but by tours - married at Petawawa, a baby born at Gagetown, a special anniversary at Uplands, a promotion in St Jean. We plant trees, and never see them grow tall, work on projects completed long after our departure, and enhance our community for the betterment of those who come after us.

We leave a part of ourselves at every stop. Through experience, we have learned to pack a suitcase, a car or hold baggage, and live indefinitely from the contents within: and though our fingers are sore from the patches we have sewn, and the silver we have shined, our hands are always ready to help those around us. Women of peace, we pray for a world in harmony, for the flag that leads our men into battle, will also blanket them in death.

Yet we are an optimistic group, thinking of the good, and forgetting the bad, cherishing yesterday, while anticipating tomorrow. Never rich by monetary standards, our hearts are overflowing with a wealth of experiences common only to those united by the special tradition of military life. We pass on this legacy to every military bride, welcoming her with outstretched arms, with love and friendship, from one sister to another, sharing in the bounty of our unique, fulfilling military way of life."


**I found this poem online; author unknown.**

Downward Spiral

I wrote a post when we were about a month into this deployment and now we're about a month away from this deployment being over.  Finally.  5 months since I've hugged my husband.  Five months since his hand has filled the empty space in my hand.  Five months since I've kissed him.  I've been surrounded by people but I've been so lonely without having him here.  There's not a day  that goes by that I don't this "gosh, i wish Chris was here" at least five times a day.  There's nothing I do that I don't think "I wish Chris was here to share this with me."  There's not a day that goes by that I don't think "I just wish I could text Chris or call him really quick to tell him something."  This has been hard.  The limited communication has been the worst.  But we've gotten through it, and we've done it with no tears; just laughter and a growing relationship and bond.  For that little fact, I'm so proud of us.  I'm so proud of how far we've come as a couple in the last five years.  We've grown up so much and we've done it together.  We've learned the important things in life and we both know that these deployments have played a huge part in that. I know that we can make it through anything and I know that we will make it through anything that life throws our way. 

It's amazing the little parts of your day that you take for granted.  Coming home and being able to tell  your significant other about your day, vent about the bad parts, laugh about the funny parts.  Just being able to connect.  Having someone to share dinner with every night and just talk about things.  Little things like a text message in the morning saying I love you that have come to be a part of your daily routine are suddenly missing from your day.  It's those simple weekend nights, curled up on the couch together, doing absolutely nothing but being together and eating pizza that you long for.  It's being able to roll over in the middle of the night and have a warm body to snuggle up to instead of the cold bed.  It's the little parts of my day where he's absent that I really miss him.  

This has seemed like one of the longest deployments we have ever been through, for the both of us.  Maybe it's because we're newlyweds, we're not supposed to be spending six months apart right after we get married. We're supposed to be enjoying the honeymoon phase and slowly building our life together.  So maybe that's why it feels like these last couple months have crept by for the two of us, we are both so anxious for him to be home so we can finally start this next chapter in our life together, as a family.  

This deployment has taught me so many things.  I'm strong and capable of doing things on my own.  Stronger than I gave myself credit for in the beginning.  I moved to Florida without my husband, got a new job and I'm doing just fine.  I'm away from all my true, life long friends but we've proved that friendships only grow stronger with distance, nothing changes.  I've done so much this deployment to make not only myself proud, but to make Chris proud of me.  But, I can't wait for him to be here with me.  Because it will be so much easier to have the man I love here with me as we try to start a new life in this new city.  

He is my other half.  He is the person he makes me whole.  He is my missing piece.  He is the other half to my heart to make my heart complete.  And I love that fact about us.  Without the other person, we are each a little lost.  When we are together we are whole.  We are both perfectly capable of surviving on our own when we have to.  We both have our own interests, hobbies, goals and friends which is how it should be.  But together, we can take on the world and anything that it has to throw at us.   Together we are a force to be reckon with; we can beat all the odds.  I'm counting down the days until he is home so we can continue to see what life has to offer us, hand in hand. 

Coping

On several occasions throughout this deployment I've been told how strong I am.

I don't deserve those words.

I'm just doing my part in this relationship. 

I'm not doing special expect standing beside my husband while he is off protecting our country in this time of war.

By no means, does this make me unnecessarily strong.

He is the strong one who deserves the praise. 

I'm just the wife who stands beside his side and give him all the love and support that she possibly can.

I'm just his wife who shows the world how much I love my husband and how proud he makes me every day. 

People have said to me "I don't know how you do it, there's no way I could do it."

People give me the "sad eyes."

Not on purpose, I'm sure. 

But I don't need the sad eyes. 

I'm surviving just fine. 

I do it for love.

I do to support the man I love more than anything in this world.

I fell in love with a man whose job is to protect this country.

I fell in love with a man whose job is to go off to war so that we are safe here at home.

I can't help who I fell in love with.

I can't help what he does for a living.

I can help who I act while he is gone.

I can act like a mature women. 

People ask me all the time "Aren't you lonely?"

Well, wouldn't you get lonely if the man you loved left you for 6+  months with limited communication?

I just know that I can't go around moping. 

I have to keep busy. 

Crying and moping 24/7 will not make the time pass quickly and it will make Chris feel guilty for leaving.

He has enough to worry about while he's over there without having to worry about how I'm dealing with him gone on top of everything.

So, I keep myself busy.

I cram as much as I can into my days.

I email Chris as much as I need to during the days to make it feel like he's a part of my days.

I take it day by day until he comes home.

People ask me "Don't you worry?"

If the person you loved most in the world was in a war zone wouldn't you worry?

So yes, I worry about him nonstop.

People say they understand, but unless you've been in the situation, you truly can't understand the thoughts that go through our heads every day. 

It's extremely worrisome.

All the time.

If I don't hear from when I normally would, I panic.

But I try to cover it up and not think about the worst. 

Because when I think about the worst, I fall apart.

And I need to be strong.

Because I'm doing the best that I can.

I'm coping through these deployments.

I'm counting the days until he comes home.

I'm doing the best that I know how to do. 

Ohhhh Sigh

My husband has this way of wrapping his arms around me that makes the whole world go away.

It's a kind of hug where i can bury my head into his chest and get a good whiff of his cologne.

He can just rest his head on the top on mine until I feel like seeing the world again.

It always makes me feel better.

Maybe it's because he's so big and buff.

Maybe it's because I feel safe in his arms.

Maybe it's because it's his job as my husband to make all my problems go away with the simple gesture of a hug.

Whatever it is, it works.

I could have used one of those wonderful hugs today when I about had a nervous breakdown.

Literally.

We're at the point where we are getting so close that we can almost feel him home but yet it still feel so far away.

I've done good this deployment.

No major breakdowns or complete meltdowns.

But today, people just pushed the wrong buttons. 

And all I really needed was him here to give me a hug and solve the problem like he does so well.

But he wasn't.

So, I had to put on my big girl panties and solve it myself. 

We're almost there.

Yet we are so far away.

Weeks feel like forever without him here with me.

Deployments

I would like to high five the creators of Skype.

I want to give them a great big hug.

They have made communication between loved ones who are separated by thousands of miles, wars and timezones much more easier than it was even a decade ago. 

Last night Chris and I were able to talk over Skype.

This was rare because our conversation was  only cut off once by their "wonderful" Internet connection over there. 

It was undisturbed by anyone else in his tent. 

It was just a normal conversation between a husband and his wife. 

Well, as normal as it can be.

Although, I must say, this deployment has been extremely easy on our relationship.

We have gone closer, if that is even possible. 

We are in a perfect place.

A place where we can only go up.

Although, I don't give all the credit to the deployment.

I give most of the credit to us.

To us, making it through the obstacles that life has thrown at us.

To making it through the hard times that no one (not even us, at times) believed we would get through.

And for coming out of those times holding hands and being that much stronger and more in love.

We are at a place where just the thought of him makes me smile no reason. 

The first deployment we went through was so early in our relationship we were still trying to figure out what our relationship was and where it was going.

It was trying and stressful. 

Him coming home, although joyful, was stressful.

Him getting readjusted to civilian life while trying to  adapt to having a relationship at the same time was hard on us both at times. 

But, the whole experience was overall stressful. 

But I wouldn't take back a day of it, because I learned a lot from the entire experience. 

We both did, as individuals and as a couple. 

But, it was a major stepping stone in our relationship.

It let us know that we could and we would make it through all the tough times life threw at us.

The second deployment was definitely much easier. 

There were no questions if our relationship would survive this deployment.

But, trying to plan a wedding while you're fiancé is deployed?

Now, there's some unneeded stress a bride to be doesn't really want. 

And I'm sure Chris didn't really need the 20 million emails with wedding questions.

5 times a day.

Nagging him for answers.

It's not like he had more important things to do.

I couldn't help that I got annoyed that he didn't answer me right away.

He couldn't help that these wedding things weren't his top priority.

But at the end of the day, things got taken care of and our wedding was the most perfect day.

Ever.

Not the easier deployment on our relationship.

But we made it through it. 

Yes we bickered. Yes there were tears. 

But we made it and we're stronger for it.

But this deployment, has by far been the easiest on our relationship.

I know for a fact, it is not a good deployment for Chris.

At all.

In fact, it's one of the worst he's been on.

But there are no outside factors putting an added strain on our relationship.

We are happy.

We are newlyweds.

We are perfect.

There have been no fights.

There have been no tears.

The conversations between us have been full of love and laughter. 

I am in love with my amazing husband.

I am so blessed to have such a wonderful man to share my life with and who is so supportive of everything I  do. 

Not everyone is as lucky as we are.

We are some of the lucky few to be blessed with true love. 

Merry Christmas Eve!

When you gather around your Christmas tree to open presents or are sitting around the dinner table laughing and enjoying your time with family, please remember all the soliders and my hero who are still overseas fighing for us ♥ Keep them in your hearts and prayers this Christmas ♥

 

 

Gives Me Hope

Progress is Being Made

My mom recommended I read this article this morning, so I did. 
After reading it, I couldn't help but have hope that maybe this really is the end and all our troops will be out of there by the end of next year.

That all our men and women will be home with their families, where they belong.

That our country can focus on fixing the problems we have here in our own nation.

At least there is some sign that this is all coming to and end.

A Christmas Poem

A CHRISTMAS POEM

TWAS THE NIGHT BEFORE CHRISTMAS,
HE LIVED ALL ALONE,
IN A ONE BEDROOM HOUSE MADE OF
PLASTER AND STONE.

I HAD COME DOWN THE CHIMNEY
WITH PRESENTS TO GIVE,
AND TO SEE JUST WHO
IN THIS HOME DID LIVE.

I LOOKED ALL ABOUT,
A STRANGE SIGHT I DID SEE,
NO TINSEL, NO PRESENTS,
NOT EVEN A TREE.

NO STOCKING BY MANTLE,
JUST BOOTS FILLED WITH SAND,
ON THE WALL HUNG PICTURES
OF FAR DISTANT LANDS.

WITH MEDALS AND BADGES,
AWARDS OF ALL KINDS,
A SOBER THOUGHT
CAME THROUGH MY MIND.

FOR THIS HOUSE WAS DIFFERENT,
IT WAS DARK AND DREARY,
I FOUND THE HOME OF A SOLDIER,
ONCE I COULD SEE CLEARLY.

THE SOLDIER LAY SLEEPING,
SILENT, ALONE,
CURLED UP ON THE FLOOR
IN THIS ONE BEDROOM HOME.

THE FACE WAS SO GENTLE,
THE ROOM IN SUCH DISORDER,
NOT HOW I PICTURED
A UNITED STATES SOLDIER.

WAS THIS THE HERO
OF WHOM I'D JUST READ?
CURLED UP ON A PONCHO,
THE FLOOR FOR A BED?

I REALIZED THE FAMILIES
THAT I SAW THIS NIGHT,
OWED THEIR LIVES TO THESE SOLDIERS
WHO WERE WILLING TO FIGHT.

SOON ROUND THE WORLD,
THE CHILDREN WOULD PLAY,
AND GROWNUPS WOULD CELEBRATE
A BRIGHT CHRISTMAS DAY.

THEY ALL ENJOYED FREEDOM
EACH MONTH OF THE YEAR,
BECAUSE OF THE SOLDIERS,
LIKE THE ONE LYING HERE.

I COULDN'T HELP WONDER
HOW MANY LAY ALONE,
ON A COLD CHRISTMAS EVE
IN A LAND FAR FROM HOME.

THE VERY THOUGHT
BROUGHT A TEAR TO MY EYE,
I DROPPED TO MY KNEES
AND STARTED TO CRY.

THE SOLDIER AWAKENED
AND I HEARD A ROUGH VOICE,
'SANTA DON'T CRY,
THIS LIFE IS MY CHOICE;

I FIGHT FOR FREEDOM,
I DON'T ASK FOR MORE,
MY LIFE IS MY GOD,
MY COUNTRY, MY CORPS.'

THE SOLDIER ROLLED OVER
AND DRIFTED TO SLEEP,
I COULDN'T CONTROL IT,
I CONTINUED TO WEEP.

I KEPT WATCH FOR HOURS,
SO SILENT AND STILL
AND WE BOTH SHIVERED
FROM THE COLD NIGHT'S CHILL.

I DIDN'T WANT TO LEAVE
ON THAT COLD, DARK, NIGHT,
THIS GUARDIAN OF HONOR
SO WILLING TO FIGHT.

THEN THE SOLDIER ROLLED OVER,
WITH A VOICE SOFT AND PURE,
WHISPERED, 'CARRY ON SANTA,
IT'S CHRISTMAS DAY, ALL IS SECURE.'

ONE LOOK AT MY WATCH,
AND I KNEW HE WAS RIGHT.
'MERRY CHRISTMAS MY FRIEND,
AND TO ALL A GOOD NIGHT!

(This poem was written by a Marine)

Something I found online

Dear Military Wife,

I am an American woman that has no idea what is going on in the military other than what I hear on the news.

I have never had to let go of someone so that they could go fight for people that they didn't know, people that sometimes do not appreciate or understand what they are fighting for.

I have never had a sleepless night of worry because of a report that another bomb has exploded and I still haven't heard from my husband.

I have never had to wait for months on end to hold the one that I loved so.

I have never had to tell my children that daddy wasn't coming home tonight because he was so far away fighting for something that they aren't yet old enough to understand.

I have never had to hold my head high and suppress the tears as I hear that it will be at least another six months of separation before my loved one gets to come home.

I have never had to deal with a holiday away from the one that I thought I would share every day of my life with.

And I have never had to feel the panic rising in my heart at the sound of a ringing phone or knock at the door for fear that it is the news that everyone is terrified of getting.

For the reasons listed above, I can not tell you that I understand how you feel.

I can not tell you that you must be strong.

I can not say that you shouldn't be angry, because you "knew what you were getting into when you married a military man".
I can not say these things because I have never had to walk in your shoes.

What I can say for certain is that because of your unselfish acts of bravery and your husbands willingness to stand up for those who see him as "just another soldier" - -

I will never have to walk in your shoes.

I do understand that as a military wife you are expected to uphold a certain amount of control, but I never understood how you could do it, until now.

I have figured out that you are not like other women.

You are of a special breed.

You have a strength within you that holds life together in the darkest of hours, a strength of which I will never possess.

The faith you have is what makes you stand out in a crowd; it makes you glow with emotion and swell with pride at the mention of The United States of America.

You are a special lady, a wonderful partner and a glorious American.

I have more respect for your husband than I could ever tell you, but until recently I never thought much about those that the soldier leaves at home during deployment.

Until this moment I could never put into words exactly what
America meant to me.

Until this moment, I had no real reason to.... Until I heard of you.

Your husband and his military family hold this nation close, safe from those who wish to hurt us...but you and those like you are the backbone of the American family.

You keep the wheels in motion and the hearts alive while most would just break completely down.

Military families make this nation what it is today.

You give us all hope and you emit a warming light at the end of a long dark tunnel.

Because of you and your family...I am able to be me.

I am able to have my family.

I am able to walk free in this great land.

Because of you and your family, I can look ahead to the future with the knowledge that life is going to be okay.

Because of you and your family, I can awake to a new day, everyday.

I realize that you are a stronger person than I will ever be because of these things and I just wanted to take the time today to say thank you to you and your family for allowing me that freedom.

I will never be able to repay this debt to you, as it is unmatchable.

However, I hope that you know that no matter where you are...

what you are doing...

what has happened today...

or what will happen tomorrow...

Your husband will NEVER be "just another soldier" to me....

And you, dear sweet lady, will never be forgotten.

You are all in my prayer's everyday and I pray that God will bring you back together with your loved one safely.

May God Bless You

Top Things NOT to say to a Military Wife

One of my childhood friends and fellow military spouse had this posted on her facebook earlier today and I just thought I would share it along to the blog world.

Things NOT to say to a military wife.
Since I've been with Chris and we've gone through 3 deployments together (and he did an additional tour before he met me), I have experienced almost every single one of this comments.  Some of them are just kind of like "well duh" questions and others ones are just on the very annoying side.  I understand that people who are not married to a military man or who have never gone through a deployment really have no idea the things we go through, so sometimes they are just trying to find the "right" thing to say.

1. “Aren’t you afraid that he’ll be killed?”

**This one ranks in at number one on the “duh” list. Of course we’re afraid. We’re terrified. The thought always lingers at the backs of our minds while they are in a warzone.  Sometimes, it pays to think before you speak, or even imagine if that was your husband fighting a war...wouldn't YOU be afraid he would be killed??

2. “I don’t know how you manage. I don’t think I could do it.”

** We’re not made of some mysterious matter that makes us more capable, we just got asked to take on a challenging job. So we rose to the challenge and found the strength to make sacrifices. And if you were put in the same situation, you WOULD be able to do it as well.  This is intended to be a compliment, most times I honestly don't even know how to respond to this comment except to say thanks.

3. “At least he’s not in Iraq.”

**This is the number one most annoying comment for those whose husbands are in Afghanistan. What do they think is happening in Afghanistan? An international game of golf? Guys are fighting and dying over there...turn on the news, open a newspaper or log onto the Internet...catch up on your world news.

4. “Do you think he’ll get to come home for Christmas/anniversary/birthday/birth of a child/wedding/family reunion, etc?”

**Don’t you watch the news? No! They don’t get to come home for any of these things. Please don’t ask again.  Unfortunately, the war is still going on regardless of the special events that are going on at home and their job is to be defending our country. luckily enough, their families know and understand that their job is going to require them to be away from the home on more than one special occasion, so we embrace the ones we get to celebrate together with twice the joy.
5. “What are you going to do to keep yourself busy while he’s gone?”

**Anything and everything I can to help the time pass quicker.  Including uping my workouts and working longer hours. We get lonely but not bored. 

6. “How much longer does he have until he can get out?”
**This one is annoying to many of us whether our husbands are deployed or not. Many of our husbands aren’t counting down the days until they “can” get out. Many of them keep signing back up again and again because they actually love what they do or they VOLUNTEER AGAIN and AGAIN to go back to Iraq b/c there is work that needs to be done.

7. “This deployment shouldn’t be so bad, now that you’re used to it."

**Sure, we do learn coping skills and its true the more deployments you’ve gone through, the easier dealing with it becomes.   We figure out ways to make life go smoother while the guys are gone. But it never gets “easy” and the bullets and bombs don’t skip over our guys just because they’ve been there before. The worry never goes away about not ever seeing your husband again.


8. “My husband had to go to Europe for business once for three weeks. I totally know what you’re going through.”

**This one is similar to number two. Do not equate your husband’s three business week trip to . with a 8-15 month or more deployment to a war zone. Aside from the obvious time difference, nobody shot at your husband or tried to blow him up with an I.E.D., your husband could call home pretty much any time he wanted to, he flew comfortably on a commercial plane, slept between crisp white sheets and ate well, paying for everything with an expense account. There is no comparison. We do not feel bonded to you in the slightest because of this comment and, if anything, we probably resent you a bit for it.

9. “Wow you must miss him?”

**This is one of the stupidest questions people ever ask me. Would you miss you're husband if you didn't see him for 6+ months and barely talk to him??

10. “Where is he exactly? Where is that?”

**Non military folks don't need to know everything, but they need to know the basics. Know that Kabul and Kandahar are in Afghanistan. . Know that Iran is a major threat to our country and that it is located between Afghanistan and Iraq. Our country has been at war in Afghanistan for seven years and at war in Iraq for five years. These basic facts are not secrets, they’re on the news every night and in the papers every day.

11. “Well, he signed up for it, so it’s his own fault whatever happens over there.

**Yes, ignorant, he did sign up. Each and every day he protects your right to make stupid comments like that. He didn’t sign up and ask to be hit by anything, he signed up to protect his country. Oh, and by the way, he asked me to tell you that “You’re welcome.” He’s still fighting for your freedom.  

12. “Don’t you miss sex! I couldn’t do it!”

**hmmm, no i don’t miss sex. i’m a robot. seriously…military spouses learn quickly that our relationships must be founded on something greater than sex. We learn to appreciate the important things, like simply hearing their voices, seeing their faces, being able to have dinner together every night. And the hard truth is, most relationships probably couldn’t withstand 12 months of sex deprivation. Deployments create this intense, extremely strong emotional bond that I don't think many relationships are lucky enough to find.  Within every downside there is an upside.

Thanksgiving

Thanksgiving.

A day to be thankful for everything that you have been blessed with amd remember that you are luckier than others in life.

I am so thankful to have a husband who loves me more than I ever thought was even imaginable.
Who loves me through everything, even on our bad days.

Who has shown me the true meaning of love.
I'm lucky to be able to lucky such a selfless man.

A man who is willing to give up his family time and his holidays so that other men and women can be with theirs.

Even though it's hard, I couldn't be any prouder of him.

I'm thankful for a strong and supportive family who stands behind me and believes in everything I do.

Without them, I would not be the person I am today.

I'm thankful for my true best friends who have stuck by me through the good and the bad times.

Who have made me realize that real friendships don't need to be the kind that have to be seen everyday.

I'm thankful for every lemon that life has thrown my way because it has made me the women that I am today. 

And without challenges, life would be boring and easy.

Halfway

EEEEEKKKKKK!!!

We've made it to the halfway(ish) mark of this deployment.

FINALLY.

I can only hope that these next three months go by quicker than these past three months did

because...

I want my husband back.

I want him here in Florida with me.

I want to do so many things with him.

But mostly because I miss the heck out of him, day in and day out.

Especially with the holidays right around the corner.

Especially since I've moved here.

Deployments were a little easier for me when I was back in Virginia, surrounded by my friends.

This deployment has been so hard.

Maybe it's because we are newlyweds and there are so many things we should be doing.

Being separated by war is not what I had in mind during the first year of our marriage.

But hey, when life hands you lemons, you make lemonade.

And that's what we've done.
We've made the best of a icky situation and remained strong.

But at the end of the day, when I lay down, all I really want is my husband laying next to me.

So, I cross my fingers that these next few months fly by quickly.



So Heartwarming :)))

Watch this video and I  dare you not to get teary eyed.

It won't happed.

Unless you are a total scroge with a cold heart.

It's just that much of a heart warming video.

Definitely makes you warm and tingly all over.

http://sports.yahoo.com/nhl/blog/puck_daddy/post/Video-Bruins-surprise-serviceman-8217-s-parent?urn=nhl-wp17324

ahhhh, so sweet :)

Helpful Article

I found this article online a couple days ago and I was reading it I found it really helpful to those who don't often send care packages overseas or going through their first deployment.

So, I figured I would share.

http://www.tasteofhome.com/Community/Cooks-Who-Care/The-Strength-Behind-The-Strong

Basically, that link will lead you to the article regarding tips for sending packages overseas.

But, there is a link within the article that will lead you to her website, which is all about staying connected with and supporting your loved ones while they are serving our wonderful country.

A little poem I found online...

I found this online the other day and thought I'd share it with you...

You don't know, but I'm the girl who cries every morning, and hopes every night for his safe return. I'm the girl who drags herself out of bed every morning so that he will be proud of her when he comes home. I'm the girl who lies in bed longing for him to be lying next to me. I'm the girl who sits quietly during class because all I can think about is that next moment when he will safely be in my arms again. You don't know, but I'm the girl with a million things to say, but not one will come out without the thought of him. I'm the girl who checks my cell phone every five seconds just to make sure I haven't missed his call. I'm the girl who stops and stares and wishes for him to return soon each and every time another man in uniform walks by.

What you don't know is that I know love on an entirely different level from most. I know the love that spans time and space; that love that most people are constantly searching for. I'm one of the girls who waits months for a single kiss; a kiss that will make the months apart worth every second. A kiss where everything in the world stops and for what seems like eternity, you can see into that person's soul and know that without them, life is not worth living. You tell me, I'm too young to be "so in love"; I know that love has no age limit. You tell me I don't even understand what love is, I tell you, I know more love in one homecoming, than most know in a life time. You don't know that every time he leaves part of me goes with him and part of him stays with me. You tell me that people change and I tell you, true love with always remain constant and steady. You tell me, I'm too young to be married, I tell you, and I'm too in love to not be. You tell me you know how I feel and that you understand what I'm going through; you have no idea. What you don't realize is that I understand the true meaning of not only love, but of longing and anticipation.

You don't see, but I'm one of the few who gets goose bumps as my heart fills with pride every time the National Anthem is played. I'm one of the girls who will stand tall and stay strong on the outside, but be dying on the inside. I am one of the girls who will make friends with complete strangers for only they can even begin to understand what I am going through. You don't understand that I picture his face everywhere I go and that he is with me in everything I do. You think I don't cry anymore, that I have gotten over it, but what you don't know is that I just hide it better.

You don't know the feeling the first time you hear the word deployment or the feeling of his hands as it slides out of yours for what could be the last time. You don't know what that last hug or kiss means and how important that goodbye truly is. I'm the girl you see standing alone in the corner of the airport watching quietly out the window with tears rolling down my cheeks. I'm the girl you see walking by with a disheartened face staring silently at the ground. What you don't know, is that I know true love and that no matter what obstacles we have to face, our love will live forever, that only we know.

You tell me that you support the troops; I tell you, I'm in love with one. I'm one of the silent, but outgoing; weak, but strong; scared, but grateful. What you don't see is that without me, he is nothing and without him, I am nothing. I'm one of those girls; the girl who stands tall behind her Soldier, stands proud behind her Hero, stands strong behind her man, watching silently as he serves and defends our country.

Welcome Home Blog

It doesn't matter if you are against the war or for the war.

No one can deny the joy and goosebumps the feel upon seeing loved ones return home and being reunited with their family members.

I found this blog which is all about celebrating the return of loved ones with amazing welcome home videos.

It is extremely heart warming and you can't help but smile when watching these homemade videos and feel nothing but warmth in your heart for these families who have been through so much in deployments.

So enjoy! :)

http://welcomehomeblog.com/

Two months and counting

Today marks the two month mark. Two months that Chris has been gone. Two months since I've hugged my husband. Two months since I've kissed my husband. Two months since I've felt my husband's hand touch mine. Two long months.  These last two months have felt like years.  The days have felt like are crawling by.  They are not moving quickly at all.  But on the other hand, we're two months closer to being back together.  To being whole again.  

Chris has said on multiple occasions that deployments are like groundhog day for him, same crap different day.  And I have to agree with him.  Although, I must agree, it's way worse for him.  Literally, its the exact same thing for him, day in and day out.  For me, I get into a weekly routine (monday I do this, Tuesday I do this and so forth) and I pretty much do the same things week in and week out and just count down the weeks.  I'm not one to wish away time; I know that the time we have on this Earth is precious and can be taken away from us at a moments notice but when Chris is deployed, I can't help but wish I had a magic wand to pass time away so he could be back home with me.  So, while I try to enjoy everyday as best as I can, there's always that lingering thought in the back of my head "I wish Chris was here with me."  I try not to sulk and be miserable because who wants to be around a Mrs. Grumpy Pants for 6 months? No one. That's who.  And let's face it; I don't have a magic wand to wave away time, and these 6 months are precious 6 months that I'm lucky enough to blessed with down here on Earth so I'm doing my best to enjoy them.  I'm incredibly grateful for the times I get to talk to my husband, even more grateful for the times I get to skype with my husband (thank goodness for technology!), and just crossing my fingers that time starts to speed up just a little bit.

It's funny how when you're younger you think you're never going to be one of those people who needs another person to make you feel you feel whole, complete.  That another person will ever be your missing piece.  But that overnight it happens.  You meet "that person" who is your missing person.  You suddenly realize all that has been missing from your life is now there.  Your life feels whole, feels complete and it's all because of that one person.  You've became that person who needs another person to feel complete.  I've become that person.  I need Chris to feel to complete.  And I don't think there is anything wrong with that.  I love feeling like we are two halves that come together to make a whole in a world of halves. Together we can face anything that life is going to throw at us.  Together we are a force to reckon with. Together we can, and we have, beat all the odds.  Before I met Chris I was wondering around just trying to find a purpose in my life.  Wondering who I was, what I was supposed to be doing,  wondering where my life was leading me.  But now I've found it.  My life was leading me to him.  The rest of life's journey I will continue on a path not alone, but hand in hand with Chris as my partner.